Jon Stewart/Tucker Carlson "Crossfire" Smackdown--

October 15, 2004

(I couldn't resist mixing in comments by bloggers. These are mostly Kerry bloggers as the Dean blog devoted an entire thread to the topic! The big bulk of Kerry-blogger comments, as well as the Dean blog link, are at the bottom.)

The 'dick' remark.

ANNOUNCER: CROSSFIRE. On the left, James Carville and Paul Begala; on the right, Robert Novak and Tucker Carlson.

In the CROSSFIRE:

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART")

JON STEWART, HOST: To their credit, once they found out Cat Stevens, Yusuf Islam, was on the plane, they immediately called out the Air Force and had the plane followed by a (INAUDIBLE)

(LAUGHTER)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Are world events really a laughing matter? They are if you're Jon Stewart. "The Daily Show" host comes out from behind the desk of comedy's favorite news show for our full half-hour today on CROSSFIRE.

(END VIDEOTAPE)

ANNOUNCER: Live from the George Washington University, Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson.

(APPLAUSE)

TUCKER CARLSON, CO-HOST: Welcome to CROSSFIRE.

Less than three weeks before the election, we're going to take a break from campaign politics, sort of. Joining us will be Jon Stewart, host of "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central and co-author of a new best-seller entitled "America (The Book)."

PAUL BEGALA, CO-HOST: We will spend the next half-hour with the most trusted man in fake news. And he has got pictures of all nine Supreme Court justices naked.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Worth staying tuned for.

First, though, we will begin, as we always do, with the best little political briefing in television, the CROSSFIRE "Political Alert."

When he wants to look moderate, Dick Cheney invokes his lesbian daughter, Mary, on the campaign trail. When Republican Senate candidate Alan Keyes viciously attacked their daughter, Dick and Lynne Cheney said nothing. When John Edwards praised their evident love for their daughter, Vice President Cheney said this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DICK CHENEY, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Let me simply thank the senator for the kind words he said about my family and our daughter. I appreciate that very much.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BEGALA: But now, suddenly, after four debate losses and 18 days until the election, the Cheneys are shocked, shocked, that John Kerry mentioned their daughter in a debate.

There is an important lesson here. If you're gay and you want your rights protected by the Republicans, it helps to have a daddy who wants to distract the country from the millions he made from Halliburton, the billions he ran up in debt, and the war he lied us into.

(CROSSTALK)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: I have to say, it takes -- it takes -- I admire your stones for defending the indefensible. Even you know that it's wrong, at the very least it's unseemly, to bring up this guy's daughter in two separate debates. And the fact they didn't get into an argument with lunatic Alan Keyes when he attacked their daughter proves nothing, other than they have good manners.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: And the fact -- I'm serious.

BEGALA: No, they have very good manners, Dick Cheney, sure. Really?
("F-Bomb" Cheney?!?!)

CARLSON: What is he supposed to say when John Edwards says, hey, how's your lesbian daughter?

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: He said thank you very much.

(BELL RINGING)

BEGALA: Cheney has raised the issue in the context of campaign appearances.

CARLSON: He has never a single time volunteered anything about his daughter's sexuality.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: And you know that that is true.

BEGALA: August 24, 2004.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: In response to a question. He never a single time...

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: He brought her up on the campaign trail.

CARLSON: Yes, I'm sure he did.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: That's just the one that I -- yes, he did. Check it out on Google.

CARLSON: Yes, my lesbian daughter.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: August 24, 2001.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: All right.

Well, there are legitimate, even powerful arguments, to be made against the Bush administration's foreign policy. But those arguments are complicated, hard to explain, and, in the end, not all that sensational.

It's a lot easier just to make things up. And so John Kerry has decided to do just that. In an interview with "The Des Moines Register" yesterday, Kerry warned that there is -- quote -- "a great potential that Americans will be drafted into the armed forces if Bush is reelected president." This is a total crock, as Kerry himself knows well. Virtually no one favors returning to the draft.

Bush is against it. Congress is against it. The Pentagon is completely against it. It is not happening now or anywhere in the near future. Again, John Kerry knows this very well, and yet he pretends otherwise in order to scare college students into voting for him. And they probably will vote for him, but it's still pretty dishonorable.

BEGALA: Well, first off, what is Bush's plan for helping out the Guard and Reserve?

CARLSON: That's a separate...

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: Kerry has a proposal to add 40,000 troops to the Army...

CARLSON: You're making a separate argument.

BEGALA: ... Bush stretched past the limit. What is Bush going to do? What's he going to do?

CARLSON: Well, you're making a separate argument. You're attacking Bush's policy towards the National Guard and Reserves, which I think is completely fair and deserves to be attacked, frankly. But there are no plans to reinstate draft because the Pentagon says that an all-volunteer Army is more effective. It's not going to happen, as you know.

BEGALA: Help me out, though. The guy who says we're not going to have a draft is the same guy who said there were weapons of mass destruction and there was a huge threat from Saddam Hussein.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: You know what?

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: Bush has no credibility, Tucker.

CARLSON: It's not simply the decision of one man, OK?

(BELL RINGING)

CARLSON: It's a decision that, in the end, Congress will make. And there is no possibility it will make that decision, as you know.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: We'll see.

BEGALA: We'll see.

Terrorists exploded two bombs in the heart of heavily fortified Green Zone in Baghdad yesterday. Another bombing killed another American soldier in eastern Baghdad. Meanwhile, on the home front, the price of oil is hovering around $55 a barrel. The Bush administration has hit the debt limit of $7.4 trillion. They are using accounting tricks to keep the United States of America from going into default like a degenerate gambler with a bookie named Knuckles.

We are critically short of the flu vaccine. Health and Human Services says not to expect any vaccine from Canada, despite what President Bush said in the debate. And yet our president thinks he deserves reelection. In fact, he told reporters -- and I'm quoting here -- "I feel great about where we are."

Well, Newt Gingrich has a different take. "If you don't have some anxiety," the former speaker said, "you're not in touch with reality." Well, Newt, I couldn't have said it better myself.
(Newt Gingrich said that???)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Well, of course, everyone has some anxiety, but that's not the point Bush is making, as you know.

I found it actually really interesting. There was a poll released today. I'm not exactly sure what it proves, but it does say something interesting; 69 percent of members of the armed services right now support Bush, as compared to less than 30 for Kerry, and that overall they were far more hopeful about the direction the country is moving than the average person. These are people, as you know, who are risking their lives in Iraq. It's not a defense of the Iraq policy, but it does say...

(BELL RINGING)

CARLSON: It says something interesting about perspectives.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: It says that people in military are overwhelmingly Republican.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Which is an interesting question. Why? Why is that?

BEGALA: Because the military has always attracted a disproportionate number of Republicans.

CARLSON: I wonder why, though.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: Well, first off, because they tend to poll the officer corps a lot more than the enlisted corps.

Look at Michael Moore's new book, "Letters From the Front: Will They Ever Trust Us Again?" Those are enlisted people who have a very different view than the elite officer corps do.

CARLSON: I'll get right on Michael Moore's new book.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Yes, definitely. I'll take it out of my local library.

BEGALA: You should.

CARLSON: Well, Winona LaDuke, remember that name? Even to students of presidential politics, it might not immediately ring a bell, so here is a refresher. LaDuke is the two-time Green Party candidate for vice president.

Four years ago, she ran with Ralph Nader on the party's stridently pro-hemp ticket. A longtime Indian rights activist, LaDuke rarely joined Nader on the campaign trail, owing in part to legal difficulties she had with her common law husband. He was head of the police at the time.

On one of the few occasions LaDuke did speak to the national press, she offered at least one policy proposal. If elected, LaDuke promised to remove pictures of white people from the White House and replace them with portraits of famous minorities. Down with George Washington. Up with Grover Washington.

This year, LaDuke is working on a wind power project and will not be running for office again. But in statement released this week, she declared that she's no longer supporting Ralph Nader. She's supporting John Kerry. Keep that in mind Election Day. John Kerry, if he's good enough for Winona LaDuke, he's good enough for you.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

BEGALA: Come on. I mean, that's...

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Someone has got to keep track of the celebrity endorsements here, OK?

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: That would be like me saying David Duke endorses George W. Bush.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: You're missing it. You're missing it. You're missing it, Paul.

BEGALA: The Duke family is all over the...

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Day after day, you make the argument, look, Barbra Streisand is voting for John Kerry. You should, too. And I'm just saying, there are other people who are voting for John Kerry. It's not just Barbra Streisand. It's also Winona LaDuke.

BEGALA: You know, David Lesar, the CEO of Halliburton, I believe is for George W. Bush.

CARLSON: I hope so.

BEGALA: So, you can go to Halliburton or you can go with David and Winona LaDuke, whoever they are.

CARLSON: Winona LaDuke.

BEGALA: I suspect they're not related, actually.

(BELL RINGING)

CARLSON: Well, he's been called the most trusted name in fake news.

Next, we're joined by Jon Stewart for his one-of-a-kind take on politics, the press and America.

We'll be right back.

(APPLAUSE)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, "THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART")

STEWART: Meanwhile, the president's challenger was also in New York, also facing some difficult questions.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How to you stay in shape?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you eat something?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you have a routine? Do you--

JOHN KERRY:No, I... no.

STEWART: It's like Nerf CROSSFIRE.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(APPLAUSE)

BEGALA: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE.

As both(Aaa! freudian slip!! you mean most, don't you?) of our loyal viewers, of course, know, our show is about all left vs. white(sic), black vs. white, paper vs. plastic, Red Sox against the Yankees. That's why every day, we have two guests with their own unique perspective on the news. But today, CROSSFIRE is very different. We have just one guest.

He's either the funniest smart guy on TV or the smartest funnyman. We'll find out which in a minute. But he's certainly an Emmy Award winner, the host of Comedy Central's "Daily Show" and the co-author of the new mega best-seller "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction," at your bookstores everywhere.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the CROSSFIRE Jon Stewart.

STEWART: Thank you.

CARLSON: Thank you for joining us.

STEWART: Thank you very much. That was very kind of you to say.

Can I say something very quickly?

Why do we have to fight?

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: The two of you? Can't we just -- say something nice about John Kerry right now.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: I like John. I care about John Kerry. Right now.

STEWART: And something about President Bush.

BEGALA: He'll be unemployed soon?

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: I failed the test. I'm sorry.

CARLSON: See, I made the effort anyway.

BEGALA: No, actually, I knew Bush in Texas a little bit. And the truth is, he's actually a great guy. He's not a very good president. But he's actually a very good person. I don't think you should have to hate to oppose somebody, but it makes it easier.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Why do you argue, the two of you?

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I hate to see it.

CARLSON: We enjoy it.

STEWART: Let me ask you a question.

CARLSON: Well, let me ask you a question first.

STEWART: All right.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Is John Kerry -- is John Kerry really the best? I mean, John Kerry has...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: Is he the best? I thought Lincoln was good.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Is he the best the Democrats can do?

STEWART: Is he the best the Democrats can do?

CARLSON: Yes, this year of the whole field.

STEWART: I had always thought, in a democracy -- and, again, I don't know -- I've only lived in this country -- that there's a process, ah, whadda they call them-- primaries.

CARLSON: Right.

STEWART: And they don't always go with the best, but they go with whoever won. So is he the best? According to the process.

CARLSON: Right. But of the nine guys running, who do you think was best. Do you think he was the best, the most impressive?

STEWART: The most impressive?

CARLSON: Yeah.

STEWART: I thought Al Sharpton was very impressive.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I enjoyed his way of speaking.

I think, oftentimes, the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely, because, otherwise, shows with titles, such as CROSSFIRE--

BEGALA: --CROSSFIRE--

STEWART: --Or "HARDBALL" or "I'm Going to Kick Your Ass" or...

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Will jump on it.

In many ways, it's funny. And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: We have noticed.

STEWART: And I wanted to -- I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't -- it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: But in its defense...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: So I wanted to come here today and say...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys.

CARLSON: Yes.

STEWART: Stop.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.

BEGALA: OK. Now--

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: And come work for us, because we, as the people--

CARLSON: --How do you pay?--

STEWART: --The people-- not well.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Better than CNN, I'm sure.

STEWART: But you can sleep at night.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns.

BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes.

STEWART: No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan... what do you call it... hacks.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Wait, Jon, let me tell you something valuable that I think we do that I'd like to see you...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: Something valuable?

CARLSON: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: I would like to hear it.

CARLSON: And I'll tell you.

When politicians come on...

STEWART: Yup.

CARLSON: It's nice to get them to try and answer the question. And in order to do that, we try and ask them pointed questions. I want to contrast our questions with some questions you asked John Kerry recently.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: ... up on the screen.

STEWART: If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: No, no, no, here's the point.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: If that's your goal.

CARLSON: It's not.

STEWART: I wouldn't aim for us. I'd aim for "Seinfeld." That's a very good show.

CARLSON: Kerry won't come on this show. He will come on your show.

STEWART: Right.

CARLSON: Let me suggest why he wants to come on your show.

STEWART: Well, we have civilized discourse.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Well, here's an example of the civilized discourse.

Here are three of the questions you asked John Kerry.

STEWART: Yeah.

CARLSON: You have a chance to interview the Democratic nominee. You asked him questions such as -- quote -- "How are you holding up? Is it hard not to take the attacks personally?"

STEWART: Yeah.

CARLSON: "Have you ever flip-flopped?" et cetera, et cetera.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: Didn't you feel like -- you got the chance to interview the guy. Why not ask him a real question, instead of just suck up to him?

STEWART: Yes. "How are you holding up?" is a real suck-up. And I actually was giving him a hot stone massage as we were doing it.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: It sounded that way. It did.

STEWART: You know, it's interesting to hear you talk about my responsibility--

CARLSON: --I felt the sparks between you--

STEWART: --to the-- I didn't realize that -- and maybe this explains quite a bit--

CARLSON: --No, the opportunity to--

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: --is that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: So what I would suggest is, when you talk about you're holding politicians' feet to the fire, I think that's disingenuous. I think you're...

CARLSON: "How are you holding up?" I mean, come on.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: No, no, no. I don't-- but my role isn't, I don't think--

CARLSON: --But you can ask him a real question, don't you think, instead of saying, you know...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: I don't think I have to. By the way, I also asked him, "Were you in Cambodia?" But I didn't really care.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: 'Cause, I don't care, because I think it's stupid.

CARLSON: I can tell.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: But my point is this. If your idea of confronting me is that I don't ask hard-hitting enough news questions, we're in bad shape, fellows.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: We're here to love you, not confront you.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: We're here to be nice.

STEWART: No, no, no, but what I'm saying is this. I'm not.

I'm here to confront you, because we need help from the media and they're hurting us. And it's -- the idea is...

(APPLAUSE)

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: Let me get this straight. If the indictment is -- if the indictment is -- and I have seen you say this -- that...

STEWART: Yes.

BEGALA: And that CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.

STEWART: Yes.

BEGALA: Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great.

BEGALA: It's like saying The Weather Channel reduces everything to a storm front.

STEWART: I would love to see a debate show.

BEGALA: We're 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on, as best we can get them, and have them fight it out.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that's like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Jon, Jon, Jon, I'm sorry. I think you're a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: Let me ask you a question on the news.

STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Thirty-five.

STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Yeah, I do. I do.

STEWART: So this is--

CARLSON: --I know. I know. I know. You're a--

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: So this is theater.

CARLSON: Now, let me just--

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Now, come on.

STEWART: Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.

CARLSON: They're difficult.

anyone watching Jon Stewart on Crossfire??? He is givin' it to Tucker! Just slammed him for wearing the bowtie..LOL

Posted by lindsay in nj at October 15, 2004 04:48 PM


(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: But the thing is that this -- you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.

BEGALA: We do, do...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I'll tell you why I know it.

CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne (sic) and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?

STEWART: Absolutely.

CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you--

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: What is wrong with you?

(APPLAUSE)

I cannot believe that Tucker is 35 yrs old. He looks sooo much younger than that. I would have guessed he was in his early 20s.

Posted by vana at October 15, 2004 04:50 PM


CARLSON: Well, I'm just saying, there's no reason for you -- when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Come on. It's embarrassing.

STEWART: I was absolutely his butt boy. I was so far -- you would not believe what he ate two weeks ago.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one.

The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk--

CARLSON: --Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

(LAUGHTER)

WOW - everyone turn on CNN Crossfire right now and watch Jon Stewart absolutely school Tucker Carlson!

Posted by femforce at October 15, 2004 04:50 PM


BEGALA: Go ahead. Go ahead.

STEWART: I watch your show every day. And it kills me.

CARLSON: I can tell you love it.

STEWART: It's so -- oh, it's so painful to watch.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: You know, because we need what you do. This is such a great opportunity you have here to actually get politicians off of their marketing and strategy.

CARLSON: Is this really Jon Stewart? What is this, anyway?

STEWART: Yes, it's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I just can't.

CARLSON: What's it like to have dinner with you? It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they're not doing the right thing, that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities?

STEWART: If I think they are.

(LAUGHTER)

jon got real personal and in-your-face

he'll never be invited back again

...

Posted by hexham at October 15, 2004 04:51 PM


CARLSON: I wouldn't want to eat with you, man. That's horrible.

STEWART: I know. And you won't. But the thing I want to get to--

BEGALA: We did promise naked pictures of the Supreme Court justices.

CARLSON: Yes, we did. Let's get to those.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: They're in this book, which is a very funny book.

STEWART: Why can't we just talk -- please, I beg of you guys, please.

CARLSON: I think you watch too much CROSSFIRE.

We're going to take a quick break.

STEWART: No, no, no, please.

CARLSON: No, no, hold on. We've got commercials.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: Please. Please stop.

CARLSON: Next, Jon Stewart in the "Rapid Fire."

STEWART: Please stop.

CARLSON: Hopefully, he'll be here, we hope, we think.

(APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: And then, did U.S. soldiers refuse an order in Iraq? Wolf Blitzer has the latest on this investigation right after the break.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WOLF BLITZER, CNN ANCHOR: I'm Wolf Blitzer in Washington.

Coming up at the top of the hour, the Pentagon investigates a report that U.S. soldiers refused to go on a dangerous mission in Iraq. We'll have details. In medical news, the FDA prescribes a strongly worded label on antidepressant drugs. And why some experts think the flu vaccine shortage is a grim warning about U.S. vulnerability to bioterrorism.

All those stories, much more, only minutes away on "WOLF BLITZER REPORTS."

Now back to CROSSFIRE.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE.

We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority.

Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story?

STEWART: I'm sorry. I don't.

CARLSON: Oh, OK.

STEWART: What do you think?

BEGALA: Let me change the subject, then.

STEWART: Where's your moral outrage on this?

CARLSON: I don't have any.

STEWART: I know.

John Stewart is more than funny - unbelievable that he's so much more responsible than these "hacks"!!!! I am so psyched that he 's hammering these people!

Posted by cielo59 at October 15, 2004 04:54 PM


BEGALA: Which candidate do you suppose would provide you better material?

STEWART: I'm sorry?

BEGALA: Which candidate do you suppose would provide you better material if he won?

STEWART: Mr. T. I think he'd be the funniest. I don't--

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Don't you have a stake in it that way, as not just a citizen, but as a professional comic?

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: Right, which I hold to be much more important than as a citizen.

BEGALA: Well, there you go.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: But who would provide you better material, do you suppose?

STEWART: I don't really know. That's kind of not how we look at it. We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: But, if Kerry gets elected, is it going to -- you have said you're voting for him. You obviously support him. It's clear. Will it be harder for you to mock his administration if he becomes president?

STEWART: No. Why would it be harder?

CARLSON: Because you support...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: The only way it would be harder is if his administration is less absurd than this one. So, in that case, if it's less absurd, then, yeah, I think it would be harder.

But, I mean, it would be hard to top this group, I mean, quite frankly.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

STEWART: In terms of absurdity and their world matching up to the one that -- you know, it was interesting. President Bush was saying, John Kerry's rhetoric doesn't match his record.

But I've heard President Bush describe his record. His record doesn't match his record.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: So I don't worry about it in that respect.

But let me ask you guys, again, a question, because we talked a little bit about, your actually doing honest debate and all that. But, after the debates, where do you guys head to right afterwards?

CARLSON: The men's room.

STEWART: Right after that?

BEGALA: Home.

STEWART: Spin alley.

BEGALA: Home.

STEWART: No, spin alley.

BEGALA: What are you talking about? You mean at these debates?

STEWART: Yeah. You go to spin alley, the place called spin alley. Now, don't you think that, for people watching at home, that's kind of a drag, that you're literally walking to a place called deception lane?

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Like, it's spin alley. It's -- don't you see, that's the issue I'm trying to talk to you guys--

BEGALA: --No, I actually believe -- I have a lot of friends who work for President Bush. I went to college with some of them.

CARLSON: Neither of us was ever in the spin room, actually.

(BELL RINGING)

BEGALA: They, they-- no, I did -- I went to do the Larry King show.

They actually believe what they're saying. They want to persuade you. That's what they're trying to do by spinning. But I don't doubt for a minute these people who work for President Bush, who I disagree with on everything, they believe that stuff, Jon. This is not a lie or a deception at all. They believe in him, just like I believe in my guy.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: I think they believe President Bush would do a better job.

And I believe the Kerry guys believe President Kerry would do a better job. But what I believe is, they're not making honest arguments. So what they're doing is, in their mind, the ends justify the means.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: I don't think so at all.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion.

(CROSSTALK)

someone please post the gist of Stewart schooling Tucker please-- I was in an elevator with him once (and Begala) and he's appallingly rude (as you may have guessed just by watching him on tv) his biggest comeback is "That's just stupid." Can't think of anything more eloquent? anyway, highlights, please!!!

Posted by bean at October 15, 2004 04:56 PM


CARLSON: OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans, answering questions.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Now, you're getting into it. I like that.

STEWART: Yes.

Jon Steward just called Carlson a "****". He's my hero.

Posted by demvet at October 15, 2004 04:56 PM

........................................................

jon just called carlson a ****

on TV!

Posted by hexham at October 15, 2004 04:56 PM

........................................................

OMG!!!! Jon Stewart just called Tucker Carlson a Dick!!!!

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 04:56 PM

........................................................

OOOOPS!

Stewart just called Carlson the "D" word.

Wonder if that will make the transcripts?

Posted by Fe from Berkeley at October 15, 2004 04:57 PM

........................................................

JOHN STEWART FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012!!!!

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 04:57 PM

........................................................

The problem with Stewart is that he's the smartest one on any show that he is on.

Posted by demvet at October 15, 2004 04:57 PM

........................................................

..and the great thing is there are a bunch of people who get all their news from him which is sounding smarter by the second!

The crossfire crew is so ticked at him...he absolutely sucked the air out the room by holding them to a higher standard.

Posted by cielo59 at October 15, 2004 05:02 PM

........................................................

Tucker is a ****.

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 04:57 PM

........................................................

pleeeaaase tell me some of you just saw the closing of Crossfire...
I'm about to fall off my chair laughing...
Jon Stewart called Tucker a - - - - (Cheney's first name)
mwaaaa haaa haa........

Posted by lindsay in nj at October 15, 2004 04:58 PM

........................................................

LOL! Jon Stewart got Tucker! Called him a Dick LMAO! This is great!

Posted by mistyforkerry at October 15, 2004 04:58 PM

........................................................

The thing is that Tucker just doesn't get it. He invites a man on his show who critiques the media and as he calls the "theatre" of it all and wants to know why....LOL Tucker just doesn't get it, and he's an idiot.

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 04:58 PM

........................................................

Did you guys here bugeyela say he has friend who work for Bush and then dick (I mean Tucker) try to cover it up??

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 04:59 PM


CARLSON: OK. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BEGALA: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE. We are joined by Comedy Central's Jon Stewart, host of "The Daily Show" and author of (the) No. 1 bestseller,
"America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction."

CARLSON: And a ton of fun, I like that too.

BEGALA: Some questions from our audience. Yes sir, what's your name, what's your name?

QUESTION: Hi, my name's David. I'm from Boston.

STEWART: Hi, David.

QUESTION: My question is, what do you think the hump on G.W.'s back during the debate was?

STEWART: Say it again?

QUESTION: What do you think the hump on George's back during the debate was?

STEWART: The hump on his back?

BEGALA: Oh, you're not familiar? This is (INAUDIBLE) conspiracy theory. Can I take this one?

STEWART: Yeah, please.

BEGALA: It was nothing, his suit was puckering. A lot of people believe he had one of these in his ear. If he was being fed lines by Karl Rove, he would not have been so inarticulate, guys. It's a myth.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: It's not true. There's this huge myth out on the left.

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: Yes, ma'am. () question for Mr. Jon Stewart.

QUESTION2: Renee from Texas. Why do you think it's hard or difficult or impossible for politicians to answer a straight, simple question?

STEWART: I don't think it's hard. I just think that nobody holds their feet to the fire to do it. So they don't have to. They get to come on shows that don't--

BEGALA: --That're too easy on them.

CARLSON: Yes. Ask them how you hold--

STEWART: --Not easy on them--

(CROSSTALK)

BEGALA: --saying we were too hard on people and too difficult and contentious.

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: I think you're - yes.

CARLSON: All right. Jon Stewart, come back soon.

BEGALA: Jon Stewart, good of you to join us. Thank you very much. The book is "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction."

From the left I am Paul Begala, that's it for CROSSFIRE.

CARLSON: And from the right I'm Tucker Carlson, have a great weekend. See you Monday.

STEWART: Well, that went great!

---- End interview ---


Transcript originally on CNN Transcripts.

Here's video (Windows Media).
More video: YouTube (part 1), YouTube (part 2)



The Kerry bloggers carry on in the aftermath:


I love John Stewart!!!!

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 05:00 PM

.................................................

Jon Stewart is my hero!!!

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 05:00 PM

.................................................

Steward just mocked them as they were going off the air "that went great"

Posted by demvet at October 15, 2004 05:00 PM

.................................................

Ok I know its funny but it is on a national show.

calling people names at this point is risky.

Posted by jimdeedler at October 15, 2004 05:00 PM

.................................................

Uh...Jon Stewart is a comedian. That's what he does. Make people laugh.

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 05:02 PM

.................................................

I love Jon Stewert! I wonder how many at CNN was laughing as hard as we were! I hope James Carville seen it LOL!

Posted by mistyforkerry at October 15, 2004 05:01 PM

.................................................

Not sure that Carville was laughing. Steward went after Carlson because he was the one who asked the question, but his frustration is after the show, not only Carlson and Novack.

Posted by mass at October 15, 2004 05:06 PM

.................................................

Bug-eye-la slipped up with the remarks about having friends that work for Bush.

**** Carlson tried to cover his ass but it was too late.

That was the BEST TELEVISION I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Better than Janet's **** even.

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 05:02 PM

.................................................

John Stewart for FCC chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by KerryUsToRealFreedom at October 15, 2004 05:02 PM

.................................................

please, someone... other than the said name-calling, what did they discuss? or better yet, transcript links?

Posted by bean at October 15, 2004 05:03 PM

.................................................

Basically nothing. Tucker was so mad and he tried to continue stupid questions.

Posted by mass at October 15, 2004 05:04 PM

.................................................

John Stewart was so great. he went after Begala and Tucker after Tucker asked him why he was not hard enough on Kerry, telling them that he was a comedy show and they were supposed to be a news show.

I hate the Crossfire format, so I think this was absolutely great.

Thanks John Stewart for going after this spin zone and talking points.

Posted by mass at October 15, 2004 05:03 PM

.................................................

Stewart got it right....Carlson IS a ****....

Posted by Sandie from OC at October 15, 2004 05:04 PM

.................................................

What was best, was how Jon slowed down the conversation. Unfortunately, Crossfire is a sounbyte emporium that goes by far too quickly.

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 05:04 PM

.................................................

That WAS excellent, tense television....and Stewart got it right. Carlson came loaded for bear, too (the Kerry question list), in an effort to put Stewart and his show down....but Stewart reminded him that his is a comedy show that's proceded by puppets making crank phone calls...he has no pretensions to being a serious news show....unlike Crossfire...

Posted by Sandie from OC at October 15, 2004 05:07 PM

.................................................

Jon Stewart for King of the World !!!!!

10/15/04 Crossfire - BEST TV EVER.

Can't friggin' wait to see the next Daily Show.

Posted by lindsay in nj at October 15, 2004 05:08 PM

.................................................

Boy I'm disappointed in Jon Stewart for having no idea about the "bulge".

Then wolfie comes on to talk about the soldiers disobeying orders. After listening to the reporter state that the commander stopped operations to review "legitimate" safety concerns, Blitzer still asks whether these guys are just anti war protesters.

I guess wolfie'd just dismiss them if they're liberal commies against the war instead of soldiers with legitimate concerns.

Posted by delphine at October 15, 2004 05:09 PM

.................................................

It wasn't in good fun....the undertones were very serious and tense, tho they attempted to mask it with humor. Stewart had a very serious point he came in with, and Carlson attempted to one-up him...

Posted by Sandie from OC at October 15, 2004 05:10 PM

.................................................

Jon Stewart took them to task for failing us- for being the corporate stooges that they are . That was one of the best moments in television ever! Bloggers, I think we should reward Jon Stewart by doing a reverse boycott. How can we get a list of Daily Show sponsors and let them know we will support them for supporting Jon Stewart? The tide is turning and the truth will out!

Posted by DeniseOCharlotte at October 15, 2004 05:10 PM

.................................................

Jon Stewart was terrific on Crossfire. I have included that in all my emails to the news networks about the spin masters doing their thing after the debates. Its like that don't think any of us have a brain and can make our own decisions about what we just saw!! That is why this internet has become an important tool. WE can be heard and we know that our opinions matter. Keep up the good work bloggers!! UNITED WE STAND!!

Jon Stewart has so much common sense along with his comedy. Can't wait to see what he says on his show about Tucker saying he was a**** on crossfire just as much as he was a **** on his own show. I am sure I heard this right cuz it was right at the end of the show.....................
(No she didn't, it was the reverse.)

Posted by marilynn at October 15, 2004 05:10 PM

.................................................

Anyone have an e-mail link for John Stewart?

We need to bombard him with positive reinforcement.

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 05:11 PM

.................................................

Jon Stewart:

"no administration can be more absurd than this one"
"Crossfire is a 'debate show' like WWF is wrestling"

still chuckling 11 minutes later...

Posted by lindsay in nj at October 15, 2004 05:11 PM

.................................................

both Daily show and crossfire ratings will go up

win for TV

win for Viewers

Stewart is a genius. **** Carlson asked him to be funny. He said "I won't be your monkey". And he was dead serious.

...

Posted by hexham at October 15, 2004 05:13 PM

.................................................

'****' Carlson..... oh I hope it sticks:-)

Posted by judith at October 15, 2004 05:14 PM

.................................................

judith, it done stuck already

**** Carlson

Crossfire host on CNN

hahahahahahaha

...

Posted by hexham at October 15, 2004 05:18 PM

.................................................

My husband and I sat there throughout the entire show saying "OMG" OMG" OMG' and THENNNNN

after Tucker thought he had the last word John calls him the big D and my husband and I where like O M G

we have yet to stop laughing

Stewart put Dick and CNN in their place!
They never saw that coming did they

Posted by cml at October 15, 2004 05:14 PM

.................................................

Jon Stewart challenged Begala and Carlson to live up to the show they should be, and rather than be a forum for politicians to spin their soundbytes, be for the people and hold all politicians feet to the fire and get them to answer the real questions. He said that Crossfire is the kind of show that is the problem with the media today. The corporate run media is just mouthpieces for political campaigns and corporations, and the real people, along with the real discussion get left out.

He was much harder on Carlson, because Carlson just didn't seem to get the point that his show is a parody, a satire of what is wrong with the media. Tucker was saying that Stewart was lecturing them, and was trying to say that Stewart should do the same in his show. Well, actually, Tucker, that's not the point of my show. My show is to mock you, etc. etc. Tucker said he wouldn't want to have dinner with Stewart if he was going to be lectured, and Stewart agreed, he wouldn't have dinner with Tucker, either. Tucker says that Stewart is funnier on his show, and Stewart said that Tucker is a bigger **** in real life than he is on his show. Then, they cut away to a commercial.

I nearly fell out of my chair, when I heard Stewart call Tucker a ****!!

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 05:14 PM

................................................

Thanks for the play by play as I can't get it. Actually though, Stewart is not ad-libbing. He's been talking about this for a long time and honing his argument. Saw him on the Charlie Rose show, where Charlie made Jon think through how he would change thinks if he could. At first he tried to turn back to something else, but Charlie wanted him to explain his thoughts. Finally, Jon came up with an excellent response.

It is obvious that he feels very strongly about this, as do ALL of us. I truly thank him for having the guts to take on both the talking heads and the "estemed reporters" like Koppel. He holds them all responsible for the mess we find ourselves in.

Posted by theworldbegsyoutovoteKerry at October 15, 2004 05:46 PM

................................................

BEST TELEVISION ON EARTH IT WAS.

Stewart is far superior to both those guys. It takes a huge amount of strength, courage and smarts to pull that kind of attack off.

Amazing.

Thank you god.

Posted by bushisabigfatliar at October 15, 2004 05:17 PM

................................................

Dear Bloggers,

Please try to limit the glee over Jon Stewart's remarks, tempting as it is to feel the revenge.

Not all Richards, with the nickname that goes along, are nasty guys. Some are quite nice. Like my husband.

Ixnay on the ee-glay.

Posted by karen at October 15, 2004 05:20 PM

................................................

Jon Stewart has Integrity~~

Posted by on.to.victory at October 15, 2004 05:22 PM

................................................

'****' Carlson is flat out jealous of Jon Stewart's popularity and mental acuity. Oh happy day.

Posted by judith at October 15, 2004 05:26 PM

................................................

I have to give Begala credit on this one. While Tucker was trying to one up Stewart, and losing badly, Begala was really trying to interview him and get his views on things. I think Begala was trying to find out who Stewart really is, and why is that those who watch his show are the most informed politically. Even my right wing neo-conservative ex husband loves Jon Stewart. He and I watched the episode on the VP Debates together and laughed hysterically together. I love that he said that they were both failing the American public.

Jon Stewart has the right idea. He gets it!!!

Posted by Stareagle at October 15, 2004 05:27 PM

................................................

And the Deaniacs?? They devoted a whole, official thread to the thing...
Hardly surprising, though, as Dean adores Stewart. I'm not kidding.

Be sure to see the comments about it on the previous Dean thread too-- starting here.

But just for a treat, here's one of the Dean comments:

Crossfire

I don't think I've (seen) anything like Jon Stewart today on Crossfire. My God I thought Tucker was going to cry. Not only did he call Tucker a dick, he called him a disgrace and a failure that should go back to school.

At first they where laughing when Stewart said Crossfire was destroying America. They stopped laughing when they realized he wasn't joking.

Paul had a different reaction then Tucker. Tucker was getting pissed while Paul just listened in amazement.

Posted by: SendBushToMars at October 15, 2004 05:27 PM


November, 2006: You know, rereading this as I updated with Jon's comments below, I was struck again at what a cool bunch of people the Kerry blog had. Kerry was a real @$$#@+ for killing that blog off.

The joy continues: Here are Jon Stewart's comments on the incident, on his next episode of "The Daily Show":

Jon Stewart: Hello, everybody, welcome to the Daily Show! I'm Jon Stewart.

Ah, how was your weekend?

I, ah... I had a great weekend. Let's see, what did I do on Friday...?

[Laughter]

Ummmm... Got a haircut.

Uhhh.... Called a guy a 'dick' on national television.

[Laughter and cheers]

Actually, what happened was, on Friday we-- Ben Karlin and I-- executive producer, drove down to Washington to do this book signing at Politics and Pros. Lovely people, the people who came out to the book signing. They were very nice. And it raised my self-esteem.

Luckily, it would be crushed later.

And then we decided to go over to this place, 'Crossfire', which is... it's a 'nuanced' public policy analysis show... that is named after the stray bullets that hit innocent bystanders in a gang fight.

[Laughter]

So I go to 'Crossfire', and I-- let's face it, I was dehydrated, (it's the Lawrence Martin defense)... ... and had perhaps my proper water that day, and I had always in the past mentioned to friends and people that I meet on the street that I think that show... blows.

So I thought it was only the right thing to do, is to go say it to them personally on their program.

But here's the thing about confronting someone with that on their show.

They're there.

[Laughter]

Ahhh... "uncomfortable"...

And they're very mad, because apparently, when you invite someone on a show called 'Crossfire', and you express an opinion... they don't care for that.

Apparently, my opinion was not-- I've seen this show. That's all they do, is express opinions. They just shout at each other!

But apparently, if that opinion is not one of your standard right-left opinions, they just-- [pantomimes an astonished Scooby Doo] "uuurrrooogh!?!"

But they did... I told them that I thought their show was hurting America. And they came back at me pretty good.

They said that I wasn't being funny.

And I said to them, "I know that."

But tomorrow, I will go back to being funny, and your show will still blow.

[Laughter and cheers]

That's the name of that tune.

Video of this is on YouTube.

--- End ---

.

.

Back to Dean Speeches


Or else I'm just a Luddite