Crocuta's Yalla Belly Yuppy Red Beans and Rice

OK, why "Yalla Belly Yuppy"? In the finest Damnyankee tradition, I have taken all the "bad for you" ingredients, such as sausage, ham hocks, and other high-fat items, out of the recipe. It still tastes good-- but it does taste a bit different from the traditional.

There are two versions of the recipe.

Large Crock-Pot Version

This is made in a normal-size 1 gallon pot.
The rice can be handily made in an Asian electric rice steamer. This can feed up to 8.

1 lb dry red beans
1 onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, chopped/ 1 tsp
3/4 tsp thyme
2 bay leaves
3 tsp black pepper
2 cubes chicken bouillion
1/4 tsp red pepper
~1/2 tsp salt, to taste
1 chicken breast or thigh
or 1/2 rabbit, a squirrel, 1 lb venison, etc (lean meats)

Enough rice for 6-8 servings, less if you are planning to save some of the bean mix for later.

1 stick celery, chopped
1/4 cup parsley
1 small bell pepper, chopped
4 or 5 shallots, chopped
some burgundy wine (~1/4 cup)

Wash the beans and drain them. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Add a dab of fat or oil to prevent boiling over. Boil 2 minutes, take off the heat, cover, and leave to soak 1 hour or overnight. Then drain them.
Add the rest of the ingredients except onions, garlic, shallots, any other "onionoids" you are putting in, and bell peppers if you are using those-- set these aside. Add water til the pot is 3/4 full (~2 qt), boil and simmer this mixture 2-6 hours, til the beans are as tender as you want. While the beans are simmering, start the rice cooking so that it will be done when the beans are done simmering. When the beans are done, you can take a potato masher or large spoon, and squash some of the beans to "thicken the mix".
When done with this, pick out the bay leaves and any bones from the meat.
Saute' the onions peppers etc in a dab of olive oil, and add to the bean mix. If using parsley, add this last.

Serve the beans over the rice.

Quicky Mini Crock-Pot Version

Quicky as far as time you spend messing with the ingredients; actual cooking takes about 20 hours total. But you can leave it alone for most of that time. This feeds about 4 diners (2-3 big hungry people).

This will be cooked in a 1 qt Rival "Crockette" miniature Crock Pot.

2 cans canned red kidney beans
1/2 onion, chopped coarse
3/8 tsp garlic powder (1/2 if you want to be popular/keep vampires at bay)
3/8-1/2 tsp thyme
1 bay leaf
1 bare teaspoon black pepper
1 cube chicken bouillion
1/8 tsp cayenne or other red pepper
1/2 tsp salt
~1/8 cup dried parsley

Drain the beans in the cans and replace the syrupy liquid with clean pure water up to the top of the can, (with beans still in there) then throw all into the crockpot. Drop the bouillion cube in some water, get it mashed up and dissolved, then drop it in too. Put in all the rest of the ingredients, stir up a bit, and set to cook overnight.

In the morning, use the potato masher to mash up some of the beans until the broth is properly thick-looking, then leave to cook some more until lunch.

Alternatively, you could start this mix in the morning and it would be ready for dinner.

Cook up about 4 servings of rice so it will be ready when the beans are. You can cook less if you plan to put aside the rest of the cooked bean mix for later.

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