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| Automobiles | Guns | Hamsters | |
|---|---|---|---|
| When You Purchase One, The Purchase Must Be Registered With The State Or Federal Government | Yes, considered same as initial ownership registration | Record of handgun purchases must be sent to BATF; other gun purchases do not require this | No. |
| When You Own One, You Must Keep It Registered It With The State or Federal Government | Yes, all 50 states | No. Some local municipalities require registration. | No |
| In Order To Operate One, You Must Have A License | Yes, all 50 States | No, unless you carry it concealed | No, not even if you carry it concealed |
| In Order To Obtain The Operating License, You Must Attend Training Classes, and Pass A Test | No training required; must pass a test-- all 50 states | No. However, hunting licenses do require this in many or most states. | No. |
| Essential Or Highly Necessary For Day-To-Day Living | Ranges from virtually essential in far-flung rural areas such as Wyoming, to virtually non-essential (and even bothersome) in dense urban areas with good public transportation services. | Not required for normal day-to-day living. Convenient for obtaining venison. Highly-useful-to-essential on occasions when confrontated with a criminal intent on doing great bodily harm. | No. |
| Annual Fatalities Due To Operation | 43,970 in 1997 (Center For Disease Control, National Vital Statistics Reports Volume 47, Number 19. Derived from Total Deaths on Page 3 of the .pdf, and Motor Vehicle Accidents as 1.9% of total deaths on Page 5 of the .pdf). | 32,436 in 1997 (Center For Disease Control,
National Vital Statistics Reports Volume 47, Number 19. Page 10 on the .pdf)
...Of which 17,580 were suicides, and 13,525 were homicides. (Same source) |
About 15 years ago, Biff Snitkin of the I Phelta Thi Fraternity died when hit in the head with a
hamster which had been launched from a giant slingshot made of bungee cords. Authorities differ,
however, on whether it was the impact of the hamster, or the fall from the sorority house roof,
which killed him. (Source: Miskatonic State News) |
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